She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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