so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
