Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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