i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize