I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
