Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
