ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize