What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize