oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
