well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
