He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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