Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
