6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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