One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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