Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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