I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
