Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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