Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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