I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My feet surprised me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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