I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
