just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
