get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
