my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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