Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
