I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
