uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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