escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
