wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
