I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
