If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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