Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
