Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize