I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
