the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
