..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I CAN MOONWALK!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
