He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just googled if crying burns calories
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize