how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
