yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
