Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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