I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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