i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
