Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
