Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
