i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I still have a little drunk in my system
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize