Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
