Where are you?
In a non slutty way
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
