do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
