Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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