Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
