So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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