Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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