Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
