i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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