I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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