first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
