you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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