How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
they need to just BURY HIM!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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