So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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