So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
