you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
