Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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