either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
