they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
