Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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