I think im going to throw up on grandma
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
