I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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