My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
