So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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