They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
