I love black thongs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize