Say something about gay babies.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
